Important tips to reduce stress
Most advice on stress management is completely wrong. We are often told to focus inward – to practice self-care, go for walks, meditate in quiet rooms, etc. While these activities are not harmful, they miss something essential.
Rebecca Heiss, a stress physiologist who studied over 750 Americans over the course of nearly a year, found that 58% of people actually become more stressed when they try to control their stress.
But here's what really caught my attention: When researchers analyzed more than 90 workplace wellness programs, almost all of them failed to improve employee well-being. The one notable exception? Programs that encouraged employees to do charitable or volunteer work. These actually worked.
This aligns with what I've discovered in my research: The most underrated way to manage stress is not to try to "cure" it by trying to eliminate it or hide from it – it's to channel that stress energy outward.
Why helping others reduces your stress
When we experience stress, our bodies release a cocktail of hormones. Most people focus on cortisol and adrenaline, but there’s another key player: oxytocin. Often called the “cuddle hormone,” oxytocin serves a specific purpose. It motivates us to connect with others and seek support.
This means that stress is designed to be a social experience. Not one you’re supposed to overcome on your own. It’s no wonder that our attempts to resolve our stress on our own often leave us feeling worse when we fail. For most of human history, we faced challenges as groups, not as individuals.
I’m not suggesting that you ignore your own needs. Instead, try what I call the “stress trampoline” – using your stress energy as fuel for meaningful actions that benefit others.
How to put the "stress trampoline" into practice
If you start to feel overwhelmed at work, instead of retreating, seek out a colleague who may be struggling and offer specific help. This could mean covering a meeting for someone dealing with a sick child, sharing a helpful template you created, or simply asking, “What is your biggest challenge today?” before diving into the solution.
Volunteer for the project everyone is avoiding, or offer to bring in a new team member when others are too busy. The key is to act while you feel that stress energy, not after you’ve “calmed down.”
If you're experiencing personal stress, instead of just venting to friends, ask them how you can support them. Cook dinner for someone going through a breakup, help a neighbor with their yard work, or organize a group activity that benefits everyone. Often, stressed people bond when they help each other get through the same difficult times.
In your larger community, channel stress about local or global issues into concrete action. Volunteer for causes you care about, organize community solutions, or use your professional skills to help nonprofits.
And finally, with your family, when those consumed family dynamics generate stress, focus on how you can contribute to solutions instead of simply managing your own reactions.
This isn't just a feel-good tip. Brain imaging shows that helping others activates reward centers and reduces activity in regions associated with stress. When we focus on contributing to our communities, we rewire our brains to handle stress more effectively.
Why this matters for your long-term goals and aspirations
This approach also has professional benefits. Leaders who channel stress into supporting their teams see better performance across the board.
Employees who help colleagues during high-pressure periods are more likely to report higher job satisfaction and engagement.
Instead of fighting your stress response, learn to use it as a competitive advantage. The next time you feel that familiar knot in your stomach or your heart racing, ask yourself, “How can I use this energy to help someone else?”
You may be surprised to discover that the best "cure" for your stress is actually a balm for others.
